Is it better to tell a friend you like them or wait to get over it?

I (22F) have strong feelings a for a close friend(24M) of mine. I’m struggling horribly to get over the feelings because he’s just great to be around and it makes it worse every time I’m with him. I want to tell him about my feelings and let him know that I’m going to take a breather from hanging out with him so that I can move on.

He has done some things that have lead others to believe the feelings are mutual but I disagree and am very sure he doesn’t feel the same towards me.

But it’s exhausting and painful being head over heels for someone who isn’t for me… would it ruin our friendship for me to tell him?

And if he does like me would he respond negatively to me confessing and then saying I need space? One person told me that men like the chase and the wait. Others say to be up front and tell him how I feel. I’m bewildered.

Should I confess or simply suffer in silence till it all goes away?

( extra info: we don’t hang out alone, always in groups or with my two male cousins that I live with. We don’t text.)

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What’s more important to you? Being open and honest with the potential of losing a friend / making things awkward or the potential life long partner. Or moving on and keeping him as a good friend.

I’ve been in this exact position. I had a friend who was apart of our friendship group and we became super close. Difference is we started hanging alone together and became best friends. Both of us dating other people, him being him, was seeing model like girls on and off all of the time and would always share his dates / experiences with me. I ended up falling for him (never voicing this) I always thought I wasn’t up to his standards, so I never said anything. A group of us decided to go on a holiday and we were sharing a room (this wasn’t unusual for us) our first night there, he asked “what do you think about us, I played it cool, “what do you mean” and he goes “well obviously I love you”. My response was “why did you never say anything and he said .. well you never said anything either… obviously we ended up together after we confessed our love. Life is short, you have to risk it for the biscuit 😛

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This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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